Hipsters

Hipsters, oh hipsters! What is it that makes me so indecisive about you? I can't figure out if I love you or hate you! There are some parts of the stereotypical hipster (from the mainstream view) that I admire, and there are other parts that I'd like to exterminate. In fact, since the hipster culture evolved and became popular - I mean became recognized as a culture, I've been collecting some funny pictures of hipsters. Now, I know that there is at least one hipster in my English class, and many more in my old school, and around Vancouver in general. So Sherry, J.S., Safiya and Max - please don't feel hurt.

Basically, my problem with hipsters is that they try too hard to not be mainstream. Here's an example: A few days ago, I was reading Sherry's English blog - it's a great blog. Now she is the self-proclaimed "Canadian Hipster", and there was a line in one of her blogposts (Pumpkin Spice Latte) where she said something that got me thinking. She was brutally honest and I commend her for that. In the post, she expressed her newly found love for the Starbuck's Pumpkin Spice Latte; she also explained the 3 reasons that she hadn't tried it sooner. The first -and most prominent- reason was the it seemed "too mainstream".  Can you imagine?! Avoiding trying something because too many other people have tried it. See, that thought process makes no sense whatsoever to me. 

When I hear that something is REALLY good, I go out and try it. The way I look at it is: Not everybody is retarded. So, if a couple people like something, there's a chance that it actually sucks. However, if a majority like something, then it is most likely worthy of all that love. But that's not always the case. For example, a lot of people really liked Drake's song "Started from the Bottom". When I heard the song, I realized that it was horrid. Probably one of the worst songs ever to cross my innocent ears. But do I regret listening to it? No, not at all. It made me a more rounded person and I learned something - I really don't like that song at all, and Drake's voice is extremely annoying. It doesn't seem like much, but it didn't kill me. I know, some will say that I could've done something more productive in those 4 minutes. But the truth is, productivity is in the eye on the beholder. And it is possible that those few minutes spent listening to Drake's song were indeed productive. Now that I'm done that short rant about trying things out, let me continue. 

So apart from the fact that these hipsters refuse to try things that may be amazing due to them being too mainstream, they also have a bright side. I appreciate that they really try and fight the power, but the problem is that they're not good at it. Their style of protest is the sit-in, and that doesn't achieve much.

They go around riding their bikes and saving the environment, but do they really have an impact? Nope, they probably feel like they do, though. You know why they don't have a big impact? Because they're too chill, they just relax about everything. To actually contribute, you have to be motivated, and be ready to die for your cause, and hipsters, well, aren't. When they fail, they shrug it off and say that they tried their best, and that that's what counts. That's a lovely philosophy to live by, but it isn't the way to achieve anything. Another option could be that they're simply too lazy. 

The fine line between hipsters and hippies. Do we really know the difference? I guess it's all in perception. In my mind, hippies wear tie-dye shirts, hipsters don't. What else? Hippies have long hair, hipsters don't. This is a fine-line, and can probably be easily crossed. This also cements my point that they don't achieve much. The hippies didn't achieve much, though they were constantly protesting. I'm pretty sure that the same thing will happen with hipsters. They draw their inspiration from hippies, and they are too cool to care.

I love the picture above. I love it. It is exactly what my new neighbors look like. I think that they're a cute couple and their kids are SO cute. The only problem I have with my new neighbors is the conversations I hear them having with each other. No, I am not a hipster stalker. But I am usually locked out of my apartment when I get home, and they're always talking next door. Here's the first issue:  right now, I am sitting outside, locked out, waiting for my mom. These hipsters are talking about how the building has a bad recycling system. Look, I don't live in a ghetto, but there is not one person in this building that cares about the recycling system. Really, it's pretty useless. See, that is annoying to me, not the fact that they want to recycle, but the fact that they're making it such a huge deal. Another thing that didn't bode over well with my non-hipster fellow neighbours was a small note that the hipsters posted on the door of the elevator. These hipsters, unlike many, don't smoke. In fact, they have asthma.

Our building is noted as a non-smoking building, but nobody really obeys the rule. I guess that the hipsters thought that nobody would smoke in the building, but people did. My family doesn't smoke, in fact, my father hates the smell of smoke that we have to put up with on a daily basis. But does my father go out, post a note on the elevator door that states the no smoking rule and kindly lets people know that if they have any questions they can contact him. NO! My father is not insane. That is exactly what these hipsters did. RETARDED! Anyway, their note was torn down within about 4 hours of being put up. By whom? The smokers on my floor. Out of the 8 units on my floor, 4 disobey the rule on a daily basis. Nevertheless, my neighbours are lovely people who really love hipster music.

Next, they started talking about how their friend had just arrived downstairs and they had to go pick him up. Their hipster friend had obviously arrived on a bike, disregarding the fact that it is -4 C outside. Anyway, then the male hipster started telling the female hipster all about the sadness he felt because the friend had a seat made of "the coolest, biodegradable plant residue"or something like that. GOSH!! REALLY?!?! Would his life be so greatly improved if his seat was all magical and decomposed like a piece of fruit that had been left on the counter for too long? Probably not, but he still decided to nag about it. Anyway, this is where the funny stuff started. The friend walked in with the male hipster and the adorable, little son. He said hi to the female hipster and the other kid. Then he gave the Ziploc container, which he had brought, to the female hipster. I heard cries of joy and many thanks being given. At that point, I thought that he had just brought her his heart on a silver platter; instead he bought/made her some Tabbouleh Salad. Yes, I did overhear all this, their door was still open, and the walls of our building are paper thin. He then went on to explain his process of making Tabbouleh Salad: Canada's least common dish. Look, Vancouver is as multicultural as can be, but I still bet that 8 out of 10 people would not know what the hell Tabbouleh Salad is, if you were to ask them. How do I know? My mom runs an awesome cooking blog called Zexxy's Wife, where she posts a bunch of ethnic food, and makes it for us at home. I appreciate the fact that they're trying new foods, but I hate the fact that they are then pretending to love them so much. Who knows, maybe I'm wrong and Tabbouleh Salad really is the tastiest thing to have ever crossed the guy's palate, but it probably wasn't. He was probably just trying to be cool and ethno.

This is a whole other breed of hipster. The geeky hipster. This is the kind of hipster who you look at and wonder about. You ask yourself why they have 0% body fat and 0% muscle. Anyway, I don't really know them all that well, but they seem better than the regular hipsters. The problem with these ones is that they are usually reliant on their mommies and daddies for money. Luckily for them, their mommies and daddies are usually loaded. They are the ones that don't want to get jobs because they want to pretend they're artists. Of course, like all hipsters, they enjoy peaceful protests. They just annoy me because they're lazy bums. That statement was slightly hypocritical of me, as I am a lazy bum myself.

I picked this picture because I really think that it portrays the poser-ness of hipsters, and I appreciate that. Also, it shows off most of the appearance that leads us to believe that someone is a hipster.

I picked this picture because I actually disagree with it. See, I don't think that the hipster in the picture looks like a hipster. I think that he looks like a pimp. It could just be the jacket, though.

Oh my! I like this outfit. I don't think that it looks like a hobo at all! Though the remarks on the picture are pretty witty, and mostly true. What else? Ah yes! The style. Don't get me wrong, I think hipsters are awesomely dressed, but I think that by being so well dressed they contradict their whole personality. All hipsters have a similar style and they follow the trend of what to wear. They're all dressed pretty similarly, after all, that's usually how we distinguish them from society. Now, am I the only one who sees how this contradicts them? In case I am, let me explain: the whole hipster ideology is to be your own person, and not to buy into the stuff that is popular. By buying the clothes that all hipsters wear, you're following a certain trend!!! Ha! And that is a mortal sin in hipsterdom.

Since hipsters pretty much originated in Portland, I thought that it'd be fitting to end the hipster pictures with a Hipsterius Portlandia. Again, a very accurate representation of a hipster. Most of the time, hipsters don't come across as elitists, but you never know. I think that it is part of the hipster culture to promote equality amongst everybody. That's why hipster women and hipster men have pretty much the same body shape. Women don't have boobs, hips, or long hair. Men aren't any different. Apparently, hipster females do not appreciate it when a man works out and gets muscles, because then he is not equal to his female counterpart.

Thanks for reading my rant on hipsters. I know that it was mostly an extremely biased and unliberal analysis of a sub-culture that could be great. I used many generalizations and stereotypes, but hey, I expressed my opinion, and that's what hipsterdom is all about! Now go listen to some hipster music. It's my favourite kind of music and I say that in all honesty.